My last wednesday in brunei :( Im bummed i have to say. Im not sick of Brunei yet! i havent finished reading my books. I havent watched enough of E! Gosh i love E! Havent made macaroons, but i have made Baileys cheesecake and it wasnt bad. BOO, dont want to go.

Shouldnt you be out with your friends Nic instead of being a loner??
Well im stuck at home, cause i cant really walk i guess. But im just pretty lazy to go out. Not that i dont want to talk to people or get to know them more before i leave. Im just tired of driving. And i hate gadong, especially at night. During Payday. GRR. Payday turns everyone in Brunei crazy. Just the drivers in Brunei. ARGH. I get so angry. And the ATMS in brunei, oh my gosh, no one stocks up on money!

So why are you so crippled?
Well due to my stubborness and absolute love to run around like a mad dog for a ball, i popped my knee during netball. Yes yes again. 4th time to be exact. But this one hurt like a biatch. Excellent timing too if i must say, playing netball for 2 weeks, then on the day of the tournament i bust my knee, during the first half of my first game. Excellent! -_- I went to the doctors and he told me it was a sprain, a sprain you say?? How can that be??? Freaking forth time man. I guess he was sort of right, but he didnt really help, and its not like I tore a ligament or anything. Apparently im not using my muscles properly. Yes i know i dont get it either. But i can say its getting better :) SO NETBALL IN A FEW MONTHS AGAIN! MUAHAHHA

Just updating for the sake of updating. Argh ive just lost my will to blog like forever. But ive just made a new layout that i want to show off! BOO.8:49 PM

BOOO!

im leaving in 2 weeks.

BOOO!

:(9:11 AM

Okay this may be a bit random but im pretty bored here waiting for my BBQ to start



Oh yes! chicken wings..*droolsmackdrool*

....and i cant wait to play Mahjong. Yes yes sheep im an old tai tai! Eh but ive have devised a GREAT game plan in which Mahjong involves drinking! OH HAH!

...okay la, not that great..

I am going to be one cool tai tai okay! THAT I guarantee! Heh heh already devised great self-satisfying pranks to play on the grandkids. Haha..MUAHAHAHAHHHAAHHA!!

So lets get down to business here.

I know there are silent readers out there! I honestly thought no one would still be reading my blog, cause there aint none of my homies showing me any lurrrvee on the tag board! But..also i never update, and never reply...tags..so..i guess...thats..why..

But, i want to know YOU readers out there. YES YOU GUYS! YES IM TALKING ABOUT YOU YOU AND YOU. So this is hows its gonna go...



Even if i see you everyday, or i dont know who the heck you are! or even if youre a stalker! even if you're just blog hopping and you never come here this girl never updates anymore! I DONT REALY CARE

11:56 AM

Please remember its not meant to make sense to anyone. Label this post as 'emo' all you want, i cant be bothered.

You shouldnt care. Well not too much anyway. Too much is no good.

The only reason why you're willing is you're afraid something is going to develop. Thats selfish. Tsk tsk selfish shellfish. As if you can stop it. Its partically dead. You want something you cant have, that someone else might get, for forever, cause you yourself know its perfect. You greedy greedy pig.

Oh well, theres going to be more. Dont fret.

Ive pretty much been an angry bitter person these days. Man do i feel like crap. Things have just been distracting me from God, okay I'm finally admitting that i actually need help. Ive lost the peace, i cant feel the relationship. I feel broken and I miss Him.

But I am working on it. I just feel uncomfortable talking about it, cause i cant control somethings. But hey, im going to get there, back on my feet. I'm desperate for You.6:34 PM

Having such a hard time letting go of my life. Letting it go to Him. WHY why why why. Thought i was already over this stage.


I feel attracted to 'black sheep'4:41 PM

How amazing is God!

He has amazing timing I must say. He knew that i wouldn't be able to attend any church services till I was back in Brunei. I believe He has spoken to me through a normal Sunday service and Passion. These past few days have been absolutely amazing.

How could I have ever denied Him.

So yes, I was looking for a new church to settle in last Sunday. The speaker started going on about being a light for Jesus. That there are people out there who yet don't know about Jesus, we have to be little light bulbs shining for Him. He made me realize that there was no point in being a light for Jesus, in those places where there was already light, and that we had to go into darkness so our light is seen. Expanding out social circles so we are able to reach out for those who don’t know about Jesus. However, there were those doubts again of being rejected..

This is where Passion comes in..

My first ever Christian Conference! I was so pumped up for the event, I didn't know what to expected but anything to do with God was going to be awesome! I was going to worship God! Oh man I love worshiping God. Praising and singing to him with 2,000 other people! It was like we’re One Body of Christ! Amazing is He.
So when Matt Redman came up and did a song ‘You Never Let Go’, it all clicked.

A few lyrics from the song

Even when I’m caught in the middle of the storm of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Oh, no, You never let go

This song really stood out for me. And you know I finally got it! I mean I’ve heard it a million times but it suddenly just clicked. Something exploded in me, and that night I just wanted to tell someone about Jesus. You know we go around to our friends telling them ‘oh did you know blha blha did something today blah blah’. Why don’t we go around saying, ‘God has been wonderful to me today, would you like to know what he did??’ God deserves to be talked about! People should know what good things he has done in our lives. It doesn’t matter if I get rejected by people, my God will never leave me.

There are so many people out there who are missing out on so much.

I know I‘m not the best person to get along with nor do I have the best personality. I have troubles too, I’m not perfect. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. But at the end of the day, I have peace with God. He will always find a way, because nothing is impossible with my God!4:37 AM